I beg, this one I no go talk chao. I just have small thing wey I wan talk.
Chei! Ghana women have nyash! Man go live Yankee for so long that I had forgotten small. I actually drooled in the car on the drive home from the airport. Come see nyash with its own zipcode. Come see another one which is being used as a dinner table. Another one too dey, which has its own call and response:
Left cheek: Foolish man…
Right cheek: Follow me.
I followed…right into a gutter.
Many people have that “It’s good to be home moment” when they are eating kelewele or laughing at an argument in a troski. Mine came when a woman’s nyash stopped me dead in my tracks at Circle. People were bumping into me and asking if my head “wasn’t there”. I no biz. I just stood there. I took in the detached nyash in its full glory and exhaled slowly. Then I yelled “Ghana dey be!” as I ran to catch my troski.
Translation for non-pidgin speakers: My mama didn’t tell me that Ghanaian women are so ass-thetically pleasing.
Written by Sir Kiwi
Cartoon by Andrew Adote