Monday, October 05, 2009

The Wackiest Facebook Status Updates Coming Out of Ghana

This blog was inspired by Baaba Andam, Frederick Sowah and Yaw Mante. They shared articles or comments that made me eventually get around to writing this post. So if you read it, and enjoy it, you owe them thanks. If it makes you angry, go find and pummel them to a pulp. hehe.

Anyway, so it's about funny, wacky, silly, interesting stuff that Ghanaians write on facebook as their status messages. I've tried to categorize them because like most of my posts, it's an exercise to tease generalities out of murky, badly organised data. All of the examples are real comments written by Ghanaians on facebook. Names have been omitted to protect the guilty. hehe. Enjoy!

1. In the first category,we have people spreading information or rather, ehm shoving information down our throats. Sometimes it's news like this one: The sad story of Eric Frimpong: FROM GHANA TO A SANTA BARBARA JAIL
And other times it's the bloggers. God, Ghanaian bloggers have become so predictable on facebook, it's sickening. First there's Esi whose status message leads up to her blog at least 80% of the time. Then there's Boakyewa Glover, Emmanuel Bensah, David Ajao, and others. Seriously, these people need to relax and enjoy facebook. Note to self. Nope, I do not want to check out the most memorable Ghana ads of all time, thank you very much. haha.

2.Second on the list is the Ogyacious people. Tryna show how in the spirit they all are, their status messages are like so:

a) I'm too blessed to be stressed

For real? Too blessed to be stressed? What does that even mean? So the rest of us who are stressed are not blessed?
Or what? Eish.

b) Do it Lord, we are praying, that Your glory may be seen

c)FOR GOD soo LOVED de world(of human beings) dat HE gave HIS only SON (JESUS),
dat WHOSOEVER(anybody, anywher) BELIEVES in HIM shd NOT PERISH bt hav ETERNAL life"- JOHN 3:16
d) For u O Lord have always been ma help and i've come to believe and know that they that call upon u will never be forsaken for thou art a Mighty God and there is none like.
Jehovah u are the Most high.

3. Next,we have the creative and pseudo-creative people.You know, many work work in ad agencies. Origin 8-Saatchi and Saatchi,McCann, MMRS-Ogilvy, Publicis...whatever. They're always trying to show how creative they are.Me my deal is, if u have to try so hard to show you're creative, you're probably not. Here are 2 examples that I got from that camp on facebook Friday and today.I'm probably going to get into trouble for citing these examples, but what the hell, sue me (Yes, Golda)!

a)The moral of goldilocks & the 3 bears: its okay to break into someones house, vandalise it & eat their food as long as youre fast enough to evade capture. hansel & gretel, its okay to eat someones house. trick old ladies & if they try... to punish you its okay to kill them. cinderella..its okay to disobey your guardian & sneak out to consort with boys.& you wonder why my generation is so disrespectful & violent.

Another one

b) eons ago, man was askd the 1st geography question 'adam where are you?' he failed, saying 'i am naked'.
eons later men are drivin blind clueless to where we're goin with no intention 2 ask 4 directions & our female passen...gers have the nerve 2 ask why we suck so bad @ navigation its all your freakin fault.nickin apples when God already gave us pcs.we couldv googled good & evil but just had to see for urself.smh

Seriously? Goldilocks what? lol. Charlie, abaa gbe wo eh!

4. And how can we forget the Ghanaians abroad! Status updates from Ghanaians tend to show that they miss Ghana or are looking to come back home...Oddly, these status messages only appear for people who are only coming home to visit.Those who are coming for good rarely announce their departureon facebook. No fond thoughts of banku, of Ghana heat, or tro-tros. Nope. These are reserved for those coming to visit.

a) Accra, here I come.
b) ahwww i am missing Ghana ooooooo!!!!!!!
c) The countdown is on

5. Yeah, then there are the football fans. Always raving about the english premiere league. Never about Eleven Wise or Kpando Heart of Lions. Always you'll get messages

a) Chelsea! We're about to do it again. 10-7 in the last five years.

Really? You and who about to do what again? People, get a grip. haha!

6. Last but not least we have those who have recently been admitted to top level schools in the UK or US.Or who have graduated from these same schools and somehow can't get over the fact that they went to these schools. Their messages go like I miss Yale-Harvard games. Yeah right. Get over it, son. And do something that might actually make us pay you some heed. Oh here's another good one:Where can I find UWC gear to buy? The online store on the school's site has disappeared...ahem! Nuff said. lol. It's okay. We know. We know you went to UWC. So let it go, son. let it go. That one was actually written by one of my bestest friends.

NB: If any of these sounds eerily like something you would say, you're in the right place. This is about all of us. I see myself in #1. Maybe you see yourself in #3 or #5 and that's okay. Afterall, i'm making fun of what Ghanaians write on facebook. Have a laugh at yourself.

And if I forgot anything, please please feel free to add it in the comments section. Can you think of any more themes that Ghanaians like to write about on facebook. God is certainly one of the big ones. Feel free to share if you stumble upon any good ones. Do they make you laugh? Do they make you angry, or just feel like an insider because you'd be able to tell that a Ghanaian wrote it even if you didn't know the writers?

If you disagree with me, don't just sit there, don't just go home with your tail between your legs, don't just something! Come up with your own list, and share it with us right here on Wo Se Ekyir.

Share it with your friends, have a laugh, and share whatever you find with us. All you have to do is check on facebook to either prove me right or shut me up!


  1. First again! Yes I'm sad... You forgot to add the flipside to #4. This occurs after they have returned: "I miss Ghana already", "I miss having drinks at rhapsody" etc. etc. You also have the folks who post deliberately inflammatory remarks such as "Can somebody explain to me why all Nigerians smell?". Yes, this was actually posted just this weekend. It's all a ploy to start yet ANOTHER facebook war between Ghanaians and Nigerians. Sadly, it usually works!

  2. You forgot the ones who put up links to random info or some random-ass music video..... random information dat no1 cares about...OMG OMG!!! Some person from Real Housewives of somewhere is dead, or her ex or dead or whatever...heh, do u kno how many people died today? mmchheww...lolol

    Then there are the 'Lemme show everyone dat i am a smart philosopher'...they put up some status updates that are meant to get you thinking..but usually backfire...or make u jus go like, yo, what expired weed is dis person on?

    Then there are the 'Breaking News' people.... they are the once who feel the need to let us know that ManU jus scored, when we are all watching it on TV or tell us that Michael Jackson is dead or Kanye jus stole Taylor Swifts shine...when , guess what..WE ALREADY KNOW!!!

    Then there are the utterly crazy ones who jus come up with randomness like so....
    ....the chicken dat crossed d road was not ghanaian, cos wat correct driver will chock there for a nice fat chicken to cross the road, when he can catch dat thn n go make sum soup...mchheww..unless d chicken was sick...infact, sumtym d chicken was sick....n wen i started chatting rubbish, i kno its bed time so u, gudnyt eh....
    ermm, dat was my status lastnyt when i pulled an all-nighter...nuf sed..clear signs of lost screws!

    Then there are those who feel the need to use song lyrics as their statuses...i mean, ok fine u like d song...but sumtyms here's how it comes of...
    NO1 cares what JayZ said, home boy did not put food on my table yesterday... so he can keep singing about venus verses mars for all i care. (i mean, i'm guilty, and i'm laughing at myself..and others)
    Oh and there are those who go like....
    ..Who sang this song? blah blah blah etc etc...or i'll give a $1000 to anyone who finishes this sentence 'You must not know about me, you must not know about me, i can have another you in a minute -----' . Oh you must be kidding me? As for that one i don't do some, THANK GOD!!!
    ... Who can finish this song

  3. Esi- du u no wat klls me? Av u sn da ppl hu typ lyke dis evry dae? I jus wanna jmp tru ma komputr n strngl da hell out of dem wen I c dis mess. Str8 up yo!

    Wat is wrse is deez peeps r eithr in col8g or col8g gradz.

    Sometimes, I truly want to cry when I see them.

    Or what about those people who put their whole business out there? Or even worse, those who insist on using their walls as daily polls? UGH

  4. me, i have a simple policy. if you take a poll and broadcast it or if invite me to play "mafia wars" or some other foolishness, i will sack you from my friends immediately.

  5. LOL @ wofa_eric...

  6. @Anonymous I ttly fil u on dat 1. I swr dis is hrdr 2 rd dan rglr eng!

    @Shels Amen to the people that overshare on facebook. Some people go really deep especially after a breakup.... However, I think I can be guilty of the random quotation status :-) So sue me!

  7. haha..its amazing how much you can find out about people on facebook...after a break up, people usually remove all pictures of the guy, the two of them together...change their relationship status immediately...and have statuses such as - MEN ARE WICKED...., ONCE BITTEN TWICE SHY...FOOL ME ONCE, SHAME ON U, FOOL ME TWICE SHAME ON ME!!.....Lmao.

  8. Dont be anxious about anything..blah blah blah..God will make a way.. Temptations are blessings in disguise...when you find the one that loves you, he will never make you cry...MHB whatever...Nyame y3 ohene..LMAO

  9. haha...@Shels- the rest of it is "I can have another you in a minute,matter of fact he'll be here in a minute, baby!"

    Guilty as charged but y'all care otherwise you wudn't notice! ha! there!...hehe

  10. Hi there!
    I was just wondering, how can I contact the blog author? I have a little proposal, you might be interested in. It's regarding African football.
    My email is
    Hope to hear from you soon,
    Many thanks,
    Asya Stolberg

  11. @shels. what kind of expired weed r they smoking. cracking me up.

  12. Hallo Asya Stolberg. I'm the blogger.I tried emailing you but the email didn't go through. You may email me -

  13. How about those who put several updates in a day about everything they are doing or is going on in their lives?

  14. Esi, I enjoyed your post! I understand that the examples are often "typically" from Ghanaians, but do not despair: Looking at Facebook entries from other nationalities you see the same sort of silly or inane postings. It's an international junk virus!

    Miss Footloose, who has a very soft spot for Ghana
    Tales of the Globetrotting Life

  15. ...but what should our status updates be about??

  16. = People that tag you in random things because they think you may be interested in [guilty!]

    = People that always talk about some imaginary "haters" when most people probably dont give two shits about what they're up to in life

  17. lol@ Faf - imaginary haters. ha!
    Question: Do most people really give a shit about what anyone is up to in life? I think not.

    @Kwadwo Ofori-Mensah...your status updates should be about whatever you want it to be about. You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't so just live your life. As long as you're happy, Esi Cleland can go burn the sea:) All i'll do is laugh. no biggie:)

    @Miss Footloose, what a name! How'd u come up with a name like Footloose? and an "international junk virus"...y'all are too smart for your own good. Very apt. very apt.

  18. Thank you, GOD, for giving me FAVOR and taking me to Ghana safely this year so I can enjoy some BANKU! I miss Harvard small but Ghana dey be... Hmm, I wonder if this is how William Wallace felt when his Uncle took him away from Scotland. Maybe we are all supposed to travel. I hope Eric Frimpong did not have any nightmares last night. Go Kumasi Cornerstone!

  19. I beg to differ.

    1. People's status updates are NOT shoving information down your throat. Maybe sending you a personal message to the same effect could constitute 'shoving', but a mere status update, which you may never see (depending on how many of your friends update in a given period, and of course HOW OFTEN YOU CHECK YOUR HOMEPAGE, ahem) is is no way forceful.
    2. As for the Ogyacious people, if their spirituality is such a bother, de-friend them. There's no law banning religion from facebook and thankfully those awful social norms that deem it inappropriate to discuss in public do not apply to social networking sites!
    3. Now this just smacks of hateration. I would understand complaints about people trying to show how good in bed they are, but creative? Please - we could do with some creativity as a nation. Pseudo-philosophical pronouncements may be irritating, but they're harmless.
    4. Ghanaians abroad get homesick and are excited to be going home. Don't hate if you can't afford a ticket or if yours is supplied biannually by mommy. Its perfectly legitimate and is a good way to notify others you'll be available for a spot of waakye in a few weeks.
    5. Yes I think football fans generally need to get a grip, but status updates are merely a form of cyber-rubbbing-salt-in-wound, which in person is a perfectly okay thing to do post-match.
    6. Once again, hating on people who have done well and want others to know. Why are you even on facebook then? Maybe we should have more "Oh, Harvard bounced me oh", or "Oh, I miss North Kaneshie No. 1 Primary School Speech and Prize Giving Day cos I never won anything".

    In short - there are more irritating, unavoidable and sometimes dangerous facebook habits than the status updates of others, lyk de tenden-c to komunik8 in txt spik (which does nothing for literacy) or the risks of identity theft/stalking if too much personal info is put out there.

    My $5

  20. lol@ Oh, I miss North Kaneshie No. 1 Primary School Speech and Prize Giving Day cos I never won anything"

    I do love to my last comment to Kwadwo Ofori-Mensah.

    Not shocked that you shelled out 5 bucks though. Ghanaians are generous like that. Saturday two weeks ago, i ended up penniless at the ridge ecobank, having walked 4 hrs from Atomic Junction, Madina to Ridge. The bank was closed. Apparently all ecobanks were closed that day. It had been announced on radio and tv but i hadn't heard. Guess what? A security guard gave me 2 cedis. A maintenance guy gave me 2 cedis, and i bumped into a friend who gave me a ride on his motor bike to 37. So i ended up with 4 cedis from strangers. I wasn't feeling so bad about myself. And all because Ghanaians are just that nice. So put ur contribution in the box, and off we go.

    Away bus!

    1. Someone's status message could have sorted u out, abi?

  21. For the love of moko and tilapia, why did you leave your house with no money in your pocket and walk 4 hours from Madina to Ridge? For a smart woman like you, this was a little erm...not so smart. Or is this some new exercise I'm yet to hear about (find the furthest bank branch and walk to it). This weekend you should walk to Tema with 20 pesewas.

  22. lol too funny. I am not ghanian, but i can relate..

  23. lol@wofa_eric.The not so smart thing was getting home in a cab on friday night with only my cab money in my pocket. Which means on Saturday, i had not even 1 pesewa at home. But i didn't sweat it. Since, I figured, the ecobank at the mall is only an hour walk from where I live. But i got there, and it was closed, and the security guard did not make it clear that all ecobanks were closed so needing to take money from my account, i continued walking. lol. But hey, we live and learn.

  24. What happened to your car,Esi? -Mondoli

  25. "ah! i see...", said the blind man to his deaf wife.

  26. @ Esi; it very interesting you decided to pick your post on the wackiest facebook status? "anye ni bia, wu na wu tua mi internet bill ma mi"? You have the power to decide who appears on your list as a "friend", no matter what. What stops you from doing so? Ms. I-know-it-all. Lol. Aren't you a Ghana blogger yourself? What is wrong about sharing a blogspot? Don't you even post your blog's link on your status? Guess, that is also too WACK, abi? I got mixed feelings whiles going through your post and thanks; some folks where able to say some "nice" stuffs to you...!!!

  27. Lol @ anonymous

    Esi, you're great at attrecting 'em.

  28. @Anonymous, yes, I am a Ghana blogger, and I was making fun of myself and others.Like in the 3rd paragraph i say "God, Ghanaian bloggers have become so predictable on facebook, it's sickening. First there's Esi whose status message leads up to her blog at least 80% of the time."

    The Esi I mention is yours truly. And when I say "Seriously, these people need to relax and enjoy facebook. Note to self. Nope, I do not want to check out the most memorable Ghana ads of all time, thank you very much", I am referring to myself as I'm the one who wrote the blog post on the most memorable Ghana ads.

    Are you new on this space? If you are, here's the low down.

    I write about Ghana
    All that's fun
    and interesting
    and funny
    it's my opinion
    but i think everyone's opinion counts
    because I only see Ghana from a narrow perspective
    so everyone here pitches in
    with their own opinions
    in the end, what we get is a fuller picture
    something closer to the truth
    something i could never do alone
    This is what we're about.
    We encourage diversity of opinion
    sometimes we'll agree
    and sometimes we wont
    but that's okay
    it's not about any of us
    How's that for a welcome to Wo Se Ekyir?

    Pull up a sesegua (traditional stool) and join in the fun. And if u ever find urself getting worked up,test ur limits. We're down with anything.

    Just don't insult anyone. Or we'll all be on ur ass:) hehe. And trust me, there are some loud-mouths in here. starting with me. You get the drill.

    @Faf,I know, right? Gyama obi ayE m'edur. lol. I for go look into it. lol. Thanks for the water mp3. I bashed it at full blast at work today and we were all in stitches. Will see if I can chop it up to share on the blog.

  29. @shels hahaha u soend chao time on facebook paa/u have like 2k friends

  30. Esi ... guilty for always reading your stuff late, then hardly coming back any earlier for the response ... but then u know whatsup with me currently!

    Sue me will be on soon, and don't think I've let you off the hook or sontin! Still owe you a b'day lunch ... if it still happens. Sue ME!!! lol.

  31. I belong to the first group. I provide too much link to my blogspot. I want everybody to read my review of a book I have read. Ain't it funny? Why should they bother? But please

  32. I just stumbled on this from Gameliel's blog. There is nothing wacky about the Facebook updates you enumerated. We are all very different people who are trying to be us. People use Facebook for different purposes. Some for marketing, others for networking etc. What's more? There are no strict rules on how Facebook should be used.

    It is a funny blog post though, that shouldn't be taken too personal.

    Thanks for putting me on the chopping board. :-)

  33. Ghana has joined the Facebook nation and we are really running with it. I have some guys/girls on my Fb page who will update their status like 12 times a day. "I'm so happy,I miss you, Why didn't he call me, You mean the world to me, Shieeeee, What is this nonsense mtseew" and many more lol. Very annoying indeed. I call such women/men facebook queens,kings. They lack attention or they are over excited. I don't know which one it is.

  34. nice! I just love the net!!!

  35. haha and how about those who make facebook their diary?
    amanfuo, i just came back from work...kakra ye be di nti! lool
    momma yenka na Nyame y3 d3!
    and then the people who use some song lyrics:
    eiii Aha Ay3 d33 ooo VIM!!.... ebei oo abasem aa?

  36. @Anon:The diary one is soooo true.
    I love your blog Esi. Wish I saw this a long time ago... Haven't lauged so hard in a long while.
    Thanks :)

  37. Really i am impressed from this post....the person who create this post he is a great human..thanks for shared this with us found this informative and interesting blog so i think so its very useful and knowledge able. I would like to thank you for the efforts you have made in writing this article.

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